Bio-Art & Bio-Artists...

I have recently read this article which I found very remarkable… Here's a part of it… Enjoy…
"Bio-artists use live tissues, bacteria, living organisms and life processes to create works of art that blur the traditional distinctions between science and art. Most of these works tend toward social reflection, conveying political and societal criticism through the combination of artistic and scientific processes."

My Sun....

The sun shined on the 3rd of March, 2007….

This is the first time it makes an appearance on this day: My birthday…

I hope that it will bring to me all the warmth I need to go on….

I pray that this will be a new beginning….

I am grateful for being loved….

I am actually indebted for being alive…

For the first time in years, I feel pure serenity….

Thank you sun… Thank you all….

The Fragility of Humans….

I want you to read this and contemplate on how short life is and how all the "strategic planning" and "tactical forecasting" in the world could not stand in the face of destiny!

"By the time Deamonte's aching tooth got any attention, the bacteria from the abscess had spread to his brain, doctors said. After two operations and more than six weeks of hospital care, Deamonte died…"

The boy died from a simple tooth ache… Think about your life and think about how fragile we humans are and try to live your life to the fullest because at any moment in time, you could lose it all…

A Little Girl...

A little girl, scared and dreadfully alone, sits on the porch of a stranger's house and bursts into tears…
Her life seems so empty and hollow; she shivers and cries out from the pains and the fears…
A hand reaches out to her, touches her gently from the back and a voice calmly says:
Don't you worry little girl, I'm here now… I'll heal your soul and make you live better days…
She looks back and sees no one; just an empty porch, just another illusion her mind plays…
She finds herself all by herself yet another time in a total shock and an extreme daze…

My Little Secrets...Part (2)

Let me open up my heart to you again and tell you more of my "little secrets"…

You see, many of us have dreams: big ones, small others, crazy ones, romantic several, simple ones, complicated many, impossible few, etc.

I dream of plain things that I know I will never get so my dreams can be labeled as: Simple and Impossible!

I dream…
Of a warm and cozy home were love is raised and spread…
Of a less demanding life where my mom can rest and have more time to spend with us, especially with me, away from work and translation!
Of a more "caring and understanding" father who I can rely on and feel safe when he's around…
Of having a sister, a few years older or younger than I am, to share with her my hopes, my dreams, my adventures; the bad times and the good ones…
Of a shared meal where we could all sit together, with no tension, and talk, smile and joke…
Of having less responsibility as the older sibling and not having to be the "perfect" child to make up for the lost time!
Of spending hours watching a movie, all of us, as one family with no reference to anything that happened in the past or anything that might happen in the future…
Of a haven to run to when all the chips are down… A place to protect me from the cruelty of the world outside, a place to shield me from the pain and make me feel that things "will turn out just fine"…

Ice Cream & Fertility!

I was trying to get my mind off the "phone call" subject so I went online and made some research concerning technology, medicine, science, etc… I came across this very interesting topic!
The main theme of this article is new research suggesting that high fat dairy products such as ice cream, may aid in increasing women's fertility:
"Ben & Jerry might help you get pregnant, but not in the usual way. A diet rich in ice cream and other high-fat dairy foods may lower the risk of one type of infertility, a study suggests. It sounds too good to be true and probably is, some doctors say.
Researchers found that women who ate two or more low-fat dairy products a day were nearly twice as likely to have trouble conceiving because of lack of ovulation than women who ate less than one serving of such foods a week.
Conversely, women who ate at least one fatty dairy food a day were 27 percent less likely to have this problem."

Just As It Was....

It is kind of strange how I clearly remember my feelings 2 years ago from this day.
I remember all the pain, all the confusion and the betrayal I felt as if it were yesterday!
Trying, fighting, suffering and praying for that scar to heal…
Begging, crying, shouting and trying to hide what I feel…
Yet again, after that period had passed, I find myself down and confused once more…
I find another disappointment waiting for me behind another door…
The names change, the faces change and the places change too…
Yet the pain remains the same, so deep and always so true!

Note: I am not depressed; I just feel an undeniable confusion which I simply try to release by writing.

The Phone Call!

I am sure many of you out there watch, or at least used to watch, horror movies. The relevancy of this subject is the name of this post and how to me, it seems like a perfect name for a new horror movie!
Usually, names of horror movies consist of two words in order to stress on a certain event or highlight the importance of a certain object that will be present in the movie.
As for me, the phone call itself is the current "horror" I fear.
Today, any time soon, I have to make a phone call which can result in turning my life around!
I am so scared of making that call. I feel extremely anxious and panicky.
Deep inside, I have gone over my reactions to that call hundreds of times but I still am so certain that my actual reaction will still be sharper and much unexpected!
May God have mercy on me!

What Is Next?

I am extremely confused about what has gone and what the next step should be…
I have no one to help me make the "right" decision….
I am on my own this time…
I sure hope I do this right…..

A Few Quoted Lines...

"Strange…

But even when you know it has to end...

...when it finally does...

...you always get that inevitable twinge:

Have I done the right thing?"

Tangibles!

There is an overpowering emotional connection we experience towards material entities such as a country, a street, even towards an office…

I have been pondering upon that idea for a while now and I have finally uncovered the reasons!

You see? We are psychologically connected to those tangible units through the memories we have of them!

Good, funny, strange, bad, sad, happy, crazy and many more memories are the key to our "attachment" to those specific places, streets, buildings etc.

If you leave your country, you will miss your friends, the times you had with them, the memories you shared in every street, every corner, every restaurant… You do not actually miss the corners, the restaurants and so on!
The same applies when you leave an old job… You do miss your desk, but why? Only because you've spent numerous hours there working, having lunch with your colleagues, joking with your boss, looking for an ashtray!

Again, you do not only miss the good memories; you get to a point where you miss the bad memories as well… You miss the small arguments, the let downs, the crazy customers!

Does any of this make sense?

Sweet dreams my old office… Sweet dreams Lebanon…

A Delibration....

He looked up at him and said, "But I love her..."

He shook his head and replied, " What you feel only matters to you; what you do for the people you say you love is what matters..."

A Relationship....

A relationship can be described as two people holding one stick…

At some times, the stick is short and the partners can look deep into each other's eyes and inside their souls…. They can feel the love and the passion…

At other times, the stick is too long and vision becomes blurry… The partners can't see each other any more; they can't feel the connection…

Yet, most importantly, they NEVER let go of that stick, because when they do, then it is over for good…

Mankind... The Harvest!

Someone I appreciate and admire so much mentioned something to me today; it was profoundly deep and intense so I thought I should write about it:

Let's name this piece of writing: Mankind… The Harvest!

We, humans, in our best and worst conditions are rather similar to wheat at the time of harvest!

Let me explain what I mean by that:

When it is time to harvest the crop, the harvesters are spread in the field to collect the wheat… The wheat is gathered on the chains and is then sentenced to a time of being crushed underneath this chain and then carried over on top of this chain…

We humans are the wheat, we spend our lives on this chain, which only allows us a certain time with freedom and sunlight (happiness and peacefulness) and so many other times being squeezed and crushed (in pain and anger).

I know many of you won't agree... Yet, these will only remain as their label says: Shared thoughts!

To Em Mohammad... God Rest Her Soul...

Just as the mountain, she stood tall and proud, spreading her shadow and blessings over her children's pace…
Never complaining, never bored, always around to pamper, to give advice, to love and embrace…
She spent her years cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes yet with a smile upon her face…
Never waiting or expecting anything in return from anyone, just praying that her children will grow up with pride…
Many years passed and age passed her by and the pain she could no longer hide…
Day by day sickness bounded her and with time it halted her stride…
Her children all around her, all settled and happy, she felt she can finally go…
Away from the world now that she would finally know:
She did it all, everything will be fine now; time will heal their scars and tears…
She will live inside their souls now and will still try to battle all their fears…
God bless her soul and take her somewhere to rest after her struggle all those years…
She will never be forgotten, in their hearts and minds she will always be near…

Those Precious Moments...

As they approached the end of the road, everything began to seem clearer than ever before…
It didn't matter any more, if she goes or decides to finally walk out that door…
They both lived precious moments they will never ever forget…
They both learnt so much from each other along the way…
They realized how tomorrow doesn't matter to them, what matters is today…
The screams in the background will never fade; they will haunt her for more time to come…
But no one, not him, not any other man can be there to hold her and pull her out of that glum!
They needed a haven, a temporary one, to run to from the pains of life…
They were not ready to change, to fight for each other, to strife!
None of them promised a happy future or a warm home…
They both searched for bigger goals, they both still needed to roam!

Expectations….

I have prepared a little poem about expectations… Here it goes:

The only way to get disappointed is to over expect anything from anyone around!
People are just too busy with their own business and with it they are bound…
Love, caring and giving have no meaning in this time and place…
The beauty of them all was shattered along with their value and grace…
How can we be naïve and expect love and care from a lover or a friend?
When we actually can't even expect from our own families in the end?
Believing in yourself and you potential is the only way to be…
Only that, only you, can set yourself free!
Live for today, tomorrow may never come!
Love yourself and your emotions make them numb!
Smile, as much as you can and remember this:
True happiness is from within, and so is pure bliss!

Families Inc.!

Just a while ago, less than 10 minutes back, I had this really interesting conversation with someone so precious and dear. This conversation was extremely brief yet it stimulated many ideas relating to humans and their way of conducting life!

The main subject of the conversation was families, from here; I will call this piece of writing: Families Inc.!

As we were talking about the usual things we talk about each morning: how we both slept, what we had for breakfast, what were our plans for the next few hours, he mentioned something about having to go visit his uncle because "his twins were turning 2 today"… This was the turning point of the conversation.

He said: Well, you know how big families are. We are committed to many occasions!

I said, jokingly: Well then, I guess you should remind me to say no when you propose because if this is the way things will be, we will never have one private moment for us!

He smiled and continued to say: Well, in our family, there is always a special occasion or event to attend:
Someone gets married, someone gives birth, the baby grows a tooth…
Or, someone graduates from school, gets accepted in university, graduates from university…
Or, someone buys a new house, someone else buys something new for his old house…
Or, someone just feels like popping by for breakfast, another for lunch, a third for a cup of tea…

We are a big family, and we do have this close connection which is why we have this responsibility!


After hanging up, I stood in a moment of silence, contemplating…
I do not comprehend the importance of these things and I can not judge whether they are "very important", "important", or "unimportant".

I do believe people do set their priorities in life and I do know that families are a priority but I also know how exhausting it can get to be in every family occasion, especially if you have a job that requires so much time and effort from you, disregarding your your own social life that is! I also know that sometimes after work, all I want to do is come back home and lay in bed and do absolutely nothing!

What do you think?

Writer's Block!

Good morning everyone…

It is a cold and gloomy Friday morning, which, to tell you the truth, does not inspire writing much yet I feel that it has been a while since I last wrote anything so I think I owe it to you and to myself some "entertainment"!

You see the problem with "writers" (yes, I do consider myself one!), is that every once in a while they get what they call "a writer's block", it is when you either have nothing to write about and you lose your muse, or you have no way of expressing the many things you can write about!!

I am currently experiencing the second one!

I do go to work every day from 9:30 till 6 , 7 or even 8 and I do around a million thing each day such as going to my already scheduled meetings, setting up new ones, some marketing here, some editing there, some translation here and there, some follow ups, etc.

During this long and usually exhausting day, many small incidents inspire me to write:

The little girl selling chewing gum in the rain, at the traffic lights.
The starring grocer right who is always situated next to the entrance of the building.
The man driving by with his mobile phone in one hand while the other hand is clenching on to a cigarette!
All those people going somewhere: university, work, home, etc.
My colleagues and how humble they are.
The cab drivers who once are quiet and keep to themselves and some other time just talk and talk or sing along to whatever music is playing on the radio!
The thoughts of my life: How can I make it better? When will it change? What should I do?

I guess you get the point by now!

So, with all the above ideas circulating around my mind, and notice this: we only use 25% capacity of our brains, it becomes harder and harder to choose one subject and talk about it! Thus, I end up writing nothing which is kind of ironic!

My Little Secrets...Part (1)

To all those who read my posts and care enough to hear me nag and complain about my fears, disappointments, pains and let downs, I have something for you to change your mood! I would like to share a few of my optimistic and cheerful dreams with you…

Can you keep a secret?

I dream of being someone whose words matter.
I dream of making a difference in my life and the lives of those around me.
I dream of a man who understands me and appreciates who I am.
I dream of a different and new life where fear is no longer harnessed.
I dream of a warm home where love is nourished and sharing is valued.
I dream of a small family for my own, a family I can give my time and love to.

I think that's enough for now!

If the feedback is as I except, I will share with you more of my little secrets!