Now & Then: Realizations & Confessions...

You were a touch of a sun's ray upon my chest your warmth would lay,

You were a kiss from an angel's lips, a dance with a never ending sway...

You were an overwhelming scent of fresh green grass and acres of meadows,
You were the building that stood there tall, blinding me from all the shadows...

You were the smile in my eyes, the tenderness that soothed the sighs...
You were the path for a better day, the truth that wiped all the lies!

You were a night whisper in my ears; your words would lay my to sleep,
You were a tingling sensation, a bundle of happy moments that I tried to keep!

Yet, the way I see you now is different...

You are the choke that so delightfully sits in my throat, restricting my air!
You are the itch that I can't reach to scratch, the sting that I can't bear!

You are the spineless creature which lurks in the darkness to bring more pain,
You are the self absorbed witless boy who beats me down again and again!

You are confused with illusions of lust and material; you can't see through,
You care for nothing but your sick desires, you have eyes for only you!

You are a worthless excuse for a man, though the needed organs are there,
You are a loaded bag of excuses, using the right one to act as if you care!

You did me wrong...

You had no right to fuss and to fight, to give me hope that we might,
You had no clue of what I could do when my anger wills to smite!

You thought I was helpless, the chains of your love would hold me back,
You lost control along the way but I took the steering and I'm back on track!

You hide behind the phone lines, you hide because your cowardliness is deep!
You blame others for your idleness, you have no soul able to feel or weep!

You pitiful little thing; soaked in hollowness; as nutless as could ever be!
Shame on you for fooling me once, but for the other times: SHAME ON ME!

P.S: I hate you...

I Chose You to Be My Joy, You Chose to Be My Sorrow...

"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them" - Kahlil Gibran

Coming from such a great writer, these words must be true and I believe they are, up to a certain extent...

Sometimes, we choose our sorrows and they end up being joys and sometimes, it's simply the other way round:

I chose you to be my light, you chose to be the darkness that lurks within me,

I chose your love to be my freedom, you chose to be the chains that won't set me free!

I chose you to draw a smile on my face, you chose to be the pained frown,

I chose you to be my raft to safety, you chose to show me how to drown!

I chose for you to be the one I love, I chose to give you all the love I had,

You chose for me to rain tears with no mercy, you chose to treat me bad!

I chose for you to be a father to my children, a partner for life I chose,

You chose to be manipulative and take me, by the hand, to where the sadness grows!

I chose for you to be the center of my world, my one and only desire,

You chose to turn against me and be the fuel that lights my heart's fire!

I chose for you to be everything and everyone that mattered,

You chose to be careless and with my feelings be simply flattered!

I chose for you to be my sun, you chose to be the burn,

I chose to never give up, you chose to never learn!

I chose for you to stay, but all you wanted was to go,

I chose your happiness, while you crafted my sorrow!

And now, all I am left with are my choices, hanging heavily on my shoulders... Wondering: What more will you choose for me...

Allow Me to Introduce Myselves to You...

I claim no fame, power or authority... That is something I have to make clear...
I just need you all to listen, very carefully, to everything I'm going to say here...

Whether it be day or night, at work, at home or out for fun,
May it be hot or cold, a rainy day or one blessed with sun...

I am many people living in one container called the body,
I maybe someone and might as well even be a nobody!

Therefore, after this brief introduction, allow me to introduce "myselves" to you!

A little girl with a heart so pure and untainted, simply wanting to run and play,
Mindless of the pains in the world, just living life carelessly day by day...

An angry rebel; trying hard to adapt to a world filled with misery and unjust,
Fighting for rights which have been unfairly taken, seeking answers in the dust!

An optimist with faith and hope that things will change to the better if I try,
Holding in the frustrations and smiling to the tears that slip from my eye...

A pessimist to the core, doubting everything and everyone around,
Fearing a sorrowful end with a chocked scream and a muffled sound...

I might smile all day but come the night I might break down in tears...
I might be confident at times while at others I might tremble in my fears!

Today I know what I want but tomorrow I might change my mind,
I might believe in love at many times although I know it is blind!

Moody and unpleasant I know I can be at any point of any day,
And I won't hide the pain I feel to avoid other people's dismay!

But overall, at least I know that I am many living in one,
That will never change, not after all the damages done!

**Special thanks to Tywak ( Break ) for the image...