An Illusion of a Home...

What is a home...

Without smiles that bounce off the walls?
Without pictures to liven up the silent halls?

What is a home...

Without an embrace after a day's rush?
Without hope and love in absolute lush?

What is a home...

Without a soul to hear my tears at night?
Without someone to stop this internal fight?

What is a home...

Nothing but stones, mud and nails,
A harbored ship which never sails!
A mystical cat with many furry tails!

An illusion of a home... Nothing more, nothing less...

Smoke: It's You That I Long to Be...

Darkness...

A match, a sparkle, a rather nauseating scent and the candle is lit...

And then there is light...

Two lovers in twine, or maybe even just a group of friends fighting the electricity cuts!

Whispers, laughs and cheers,
Or maybe a few whines and tears...

As the candle burns out with time, freeing the smoke!

Smoke: It's you that I long to be...

A short-lived existence, barely touched and never scarred or pained,
A sour sweet scent with nothing to be lost and nothing to be gained!

A faint dance in the air, a wiggle, a boogie and a silent groove with or without a beat,
No heart to get broken, no emotions to be tainted, no headaches and surely no feet!

In the shades of the darkness you could flourish and in the dark you could roam,
With no hunger for a soul mate, no craving for a change, no longing for a home!

Never lonely could you ever become,
No talk, no tears and no hum!

Smoke: It's you whom I long to be...

Void from disappointments, far from responsibilities and just plain and simple: free!

Looking for A Home...(2)

I'm looking for a furnished home with the following specifications:

• 2 spacious bedrooms where love paints the walls, good memories are created and smiles echo in every corner.
• 1 cozy living room with couches that can comfortably accommodate family and friends, windows that welcome the rays of the sun with a new hope in the beginning of every day and curtains that will seal the anger of the sky on stormy nights.
  
• 1 kitchen with all the cooking accessories and a table in the middle with many chairs for one meal to bring us all together at least at lunch or dinner!
• A small garden where I can sit to write or just think, about happy times, and where roses tease me with their scent as soon as I step out and take a whiff of the cool breeze.
• A friendly neighborhood where morning greetings are a habit and not fake and where neighbors won't watch my every move, try to control me and mind their own business!
• A tolerating city in which I know I'm safe from eyes and judgments!
• A loving country which embraces me for everything that I am and everything that I can ever be...

If you can think of any place that matches this description, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Looking for A Home...(1)

Looking back, way back...
When I didn't have any white hairs whatsoever,
and my hair was still its natural color.
When I still bit my fingernails whenever I got frustrated,
and I had a low self-esteem that was inflated!
When I used to run around playing catch with the kids in our block,
and I only loved listening to only hip hop and rock!

Back then...
I was always looking for a home, somewhere I can belong to...
Searching for things in life that were real, that were true!
Never have I felt that regardless of where I was or with whom,
Every time something developed, there was a reason for wrong to bloom!

And now...
I still feel that I don't belong to any specific place or time,
When a blossom of hope flourishes I know a bell of sorrow will chime!
I still feel out of order, as if I am here by mistake,
As if falling into coma; not asleep neither am I awake!

I wish...
I wish I can find a place to call home and feel it from within,
A place where people's issues will not stoop my chin!
I wish I can feel at ease knowing that things will be fine,
Knowing, for a fact, there is no reason to frown or whine!

I ache...
In silence and unsaid words for I am too tired to speak,
My soul like crumbs of bread; traumatized and weak!