The Analogy of the Fly!

Every single day, I developed a habit to take a few five minute breaks during work hours, head down to the garden outside, stand there in silence and observe nature, closely, deeply...

On each day, I see something within the many layers and levels of nature that makes me wonder how similar we are to the elements of nature; how we are not that different from the bee which roams the garden trying to find the perfect flower to suckle on, the tree which stands there proud although involuntarily, the flower which tries to tease its observer with its colors and gentleness and so on...

But today, the most distinguished element of nature, which was able to capture and even more so, grab my attention was a fly!

As I stood there staring at a window from outside, I noticed a fly eagerly bashing its tiny little head against the window, trying to get out! Below the fly, at the window sill, I was able to notice a couple of dead fellow flies and bees, who apparently tried to do the same thing yet sadly failed.

This observation would have been utterly useless if it weren't for the fact that behind the window the lost fly was so vigorously attacking, there was a very wide space and a bit further, there was a door which lead to the garden i.e, freedom!

Despite the fact that the fly, as well as other insects, are structured in a way that ensures their survival to a large extent, the fly stopped at the dead end, the window, and refused to think of any other alternatives that could in fact save its existence!

Finally, the question I'd like to ask here, based on this observation, is as follows: How "fly-like" can we be when placed in a pseudo corner of making a decision or taking a stand!

The Allegory of the Circle!

Somewhere across the hollow horizons, in places that we don’t see, life is going on. Things are in constant motion and the world is spinning, never will it stop to wait for anyone!

Sometimes, our own little world pauses, it takes a break from what is going on outside. Though we live in 2008, our little world seems to be still stuck in an earlier year, refusing to continue with its normal cycle! The calendar for others is on the move yet ours is invariable.

We look around to see that everything we have loved, the things we cherished and valued most are now so forward in time and there is no way to reach them anymore! We try to run, faster and faster, only to figure out we are running in circles! We call out, no one can hear us, our voices are muted in the noise of the present that we have been left out from and the future which seems so far-fetched!

Circles… Life is all about circles! A circle is one of the most basic forms of graphic design yet a great determinant of our life’s design!

We live in a world of circles where people are divided according to factors such as education, race, religion, social class, etc… These circles sometimes allow their inhabitants to move forward, sometimes they hold them back and sometimes they just preserve them, like mummified animals, in the moment they are in!

When these circles collide, they cause havoc! When they are breached, they cause pain!

And just like the jungle, the rule that governs our lives is: Survival of the fittest!

Alas the great minds and hearts doomed into the oblivion of ignorance, pushed back in the pages of history…

He Labels Me, He Labels Me Not!

A Brief Introduction:

According to Wikipedia, a label can be used as a form of product identification, name tags, advertising, warnings, and other communication and a brand is a name or trademark connected with a product or producer and are now being described as "cultural accessories and personal philosophies".

In the business world and especially in relation to marketing and advertising, we all understand the importance of labels and brands and how they help spread an image and further position a product or service. But can this labeling concept be applied to human relationships? And how?

Why Do We Need Labeling & Branding in Relationships?

After a very intriguing conversation with a "friend", I found myself linking the concept of branding and labeling to the human condition and realizing that there is a need for labels and brands in relationships for a better and more organized way of life!

Allow me to explain further:

Do you think it is possible to determine a certain way of behavior with someone without the existence of clear defined labels both parties can be identified with?

What differentiates an employer from an employee? Apart from the salary, experience, obligations and maybe the office they work in? How could you know whom to report to in a new office without being given a label of that person before even knowing his/her name? How can boundaries of respect and chain of command be determined? An employer has a power of authority which he can use more than often to fire, criticize and even more insult an employee. An employer's role shift continuously and freely. When it comes to employees, they lack the flexibility and need to operate by certain rules of conduct or else will end up jobless!

What differentiates a friend from an acquaintance? Both are human being (hopefully), both have the essential body parts and internal systems and both can talk, laugh, cry and eat (as well as other things I don't need to mention)! Yet, a friend is someone whom you can confide in, someone who you will find there next to you in moments of great happiness and pain, someone who you have things in common with and enjoy talking to. On the other hand, acquaintances are those whom you probably have many duplicates of; you see then every once in a blue moon, you talk to them about random things, you don't trust them and you don't usually choose to spend time with them, it just happens accidentally!

What differentiates a "no label" relationship from a labeled one? (in intimate relationships) Well, though there are many types of intimate relationships such as open relationships, complicated relationships, steady relationships and so on, it all boils down to labels! In any form of intimate relationships, there exists a need for a definition of the relationship, a label, which defines the boundaries of what can be and can not be done within the frame of respect and expectations. A "no label" relationship hinders any plans for an effort to be placed in the relationship, it plants doubt and nurtures insecurities. Furthermore, such a relationship can lead to confusion and discomfort!

And the list goes on for relationships between parents and children, a current boyfriend/girlfriend and an ex, an older sister and a younger brother, and so on...

Real Life Examples:

If all coke was called coke, you know, a generic name for all similar products rather than branded as Pepsi and Coca Cola. What happens if you drink a coke and get poisoned, how will you ever trust coke again? Will you even drink coke after that? How can you be sure that this coke is what you want and not the other? How will you ever develop brand loyalty for coke?

Now, let's take it from another angle: We all know Coca Cola and Pepsi and many of us can really differentiate the taste regardless of which can the drink is placed in or even when we drink it from a glass. How? Coca Cola and Pepsi have spent years building a brand image based on their label that now, they don't need the label for people to know which is which.

Conclusion:

Yes, many years and situations can definitely eliminate the need for labels whether in the business world or in human relationships yet labels come in handy in the beginning of any product/service launch or the start of any human relationship.

I rest my case.

How Sane Are We?

Caution: This is a long post and the ideas discussed in it are strictly personal... They will make you think of things, strange things, but in the end, they are opinions and you have every right to disagree!

One of the accusations that are directed my way is that I am a very sociable person! My friends always claim that I have no problem opening up and discussing various topics with random people at any time and at any place!

They are totally right! Moreover, I think this is the main reason for that: Talking to others, many others, about different things only allows us to grow more and gives our rather restricted brains to grow both horizontally and vertically in thought and creativity!

A few days ago, after suffering a very bad nervous breakdown, I found myself seriously thinking about the thin line that passes through sanity and insanity.

I then started talking to few of my “thoughtful” friends about this issue and their view of it by asking them: How do you know that you’re not insane?

Let me assure you that I imagined getting a strange look in return and maybe a comment on how my crazy brain works! Instead, I was surprised to find myself in an intriguing discussion about the borders of sanity!

Take this line for example: “They laughed at Einstein. They laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” It is true and very accurate in illustrating how sanity vs. insanity is almost a never-ending debate with no clear cutting edges for an answer!

Whatever you may think of this subject, one thing will always stand uncorrected: the difference between sanity and insanity is very often arbitrary. There is no clear borderline. It is a thin zigzag line and we use socially acceptable behavior as the major criteria to differentiate.

Dictionaries around the world define insanity as “the condition of someone who is senseless and extremely foolish.” This declares that insane people are those who challenge the rules of society and do not fit in with the “normal way of life.” But what counts as a “normal way of life” anyway?

Someone told me, just the other day, that insanity happens when we lose control over the mind i.e: when the body takes control over the mind and our reactions are not at all studied or thought about... But that makes many of us insane... No?

I think I am there.. Three steps away from the mental hospital, many steps away from sanity.. But that's just me...

How sane are you?

Joke: You know you’re insane when ☺
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=00Ayi5

The Cleaning Lady...

It was just another day, and she dressed to go to work,
Her long dark her she tied up in a bun…
As she stole a glance at her watch, she gave a little smirk,
She was late and she had to run!

Her name was “”, it was not her choice of names,
Since it rhymed with funny things!
People would use her name to play stupid games,
In her mind, she’d give them flings!

Today she had to clean that family’s household,
It was the place she liked more than others,
She spent hours talking to granny; she was so old!
And she played with the sister and her brothers!

As she mopped the floor with her witch-like broomstick,
She hummed songs of love and joy…
One of the kids pulled on her a little trick,
And she slipped and stumbled on a hidden toy!

She smiled and continued to work; dusting was next,
A drop of sweat falling down on to her forehead,
On that desk she came across a paper with a text,
Held it in her hand as she slowly rested on the side of the bed…

She read:
“My life is a delicate guitar, its strings are beauty and love,
Yet when I play I hear no sound!
I look into the skies, way up above,
And yet I see nothing around!”

Footsteps getting closer, she can hear them now,
She had to get up and dust!
She needed to find a way out somehow,
But she was caught up in the word’s lust!

“What are you doing?” She heard a scream!
“How dare you read my stuff”?
Her face turned red, she wished it was a dream,
“Get out now, enough is enough!”

She gathered her things and out the door she went,
With thoughts of what she had read floating in her mind,
Her pain she twisted and into a smile her lips she bent,
It is time to go back home and her fears to unwind…

Grains of Sand...

People are like delicate grains of sand...
You grab some and hold them in your hand...

Many you will lose, they'll slip along the way...
Many will creep between your fingers day by day...

The tighter you squeeze, the more they'll rebel,
When you finally realize, most of them already fell!

The one grain which you will keep...
Is the one willing to stay and not leap...

For as hard as you hold on for what's not yours,
You run the risk of losing it to any open doors!

Rising to the Occasion!

It was night time… They both have missed each other for so long… At least she was certain she did!

Upon seeing each other, they moved closer, embraced each other, craving the warmth of this embrace, wanting more, desiring one another, breathing heavily…

Behind the half opened window and the silhouettes playfully moving to the cold night breeze, she gently sought his ear and whispered: "Love me…"

He didn't know what it was that she really wanted, but he felt it… And as the "man" that he was, he wanted to fulfill her need!

He took her hand, lead her into the room…

She hated that room… It was messy and cold… It made her feel alienated from the world and isolated from herself…

Yet, she loved that room… It was, after all, the place where they had shared the countless smiles, the deepest secrets and the dangerous adventures!

He pulled her hand, sat her on the bed, right next to him and looked in her eyes…

He played with her hair, just the way she taught him to… He touched her face, just the way she would have wanted…

In between the sheets, their bodies moved and swayed to the sounds of the silence…

Blackness… Silence…

He now sits on the edge of the bed, alone… He buries his head into his hand while she lays on the other side thoughtful yet trying to maintain a blank face…

Again, he could not rise up to the occasion… He could not "love her" like she needed… He could not "be with her" like she wanted…

His "impotence" in love was definite now and she knew what she had to do…

You see? Many scientific books and websites speak of male impotence when it comes to the male's inability to "satisfy both partners by not being able to maintain an erection"!

These references speak of impotence as being, strictly, a sexual problem. I beg to differ…

I think males, and some females as well, face a more "treacherous" problem when it comes to impotence: Impotence of the heart!

Failing to "erect" your feelings, bring them to life and / or moving them is also impotence!

In the above scene I created, I need to emphasize the following: "Love me" was in no way meant to be of sexual nature for love itself constitutes greater values and meanings…

At the end of the scene, when "he" realizes his impotence to really "love a woman", I strictly mean that he is unable to have his heart rise to the occasion of loving, giving, caring, understanding and so on…

On a different level, some men and women, equally, share a third type of impotence: that of the mind… Due to many factors such as upbringing, the society, the field of work, the education level, friends and others, even the mind is sometimes unable to make decisions or be productive even with the proper simulation and motivation!

He gets up from the bed, walks slowly to the door, takes a fast glance at her darkness shadowed body and leaves…

She is certain of what has to be done now…

She closes her eyes and enters her pool of dreams….

********The End*************

A Sarcastic Pitch!

If I made you sandwiches, would you love me plenty?
If I managed to always look younger; twenty-five or even twenty?
If I was a “good girl” would you treat me like a puppy?
Would you shower me with love and hugs; bring water to my cuppy?
If I make good coffee, if I make good tea,
Would you still choose someone else, or will it be me?
If I dressed more decently and made more female friends,
Would you promise me a happy life and better ends?

My Testimony... (Uncut, Uncensored)

I realize that, for the past few days, my readers have been looking for some positivism in my writings. They have been constantly questioning the reason for this continuous river of sadness that seems to never stop running and which they seem not to understand.

As I have always been very honest in my words and feelings, which has gotten me into a lot of trouble if I may add, allow me, to explain to you, as a human, not just a writer, the reasons for this surrender that I am revealing in each line I’ve written lately…

See I have always looked for positive thoughts to light my way in the darkness of the days and nights that comes from deep hidden places and people around me… I have always been successful to find it the in the midst of the shadows yet as I stand here, loaded with agony, I see no more light, I find myself fully submerged in darkness…

Things around me seem to have lost their meaning, their taste and their smell… My senses are not able to perform their job! I feel nothingness; I sense no more!

It so happens that the conspiracy of “unfortunate events” finally did get the best of me!
What can one do when faced with such a universal plot to destroy the basis of one’s self: his/her faith in love, happiness and safety?

I know you still didn’t understand… Allow me to elaborate:

For the past few days, week to be precise, nothing has been going as I would want it to. I mean granted: we don’t always get what we want, but come on, I am not getting anything I want! Please don’t get me wrong, I do not expect things to just happen as I sit there restless. I do work hard for what I want, I always have. Nothing has ever come easy to me, nothing! I don’t mind at all, I mean when I work so hard for something and I finally get it, it means way more, I appreciate it more and I struggle to maintain it even more, and I do realize that.

Yet now, working so hard for what I want/need, is just not cutting it!

Now, I’m caught up in my love for 2 cities, which won’t love me back: Beirut, since it is too busy with the political disputes and the people fighting over it, it forgot about me… Amman, just won’t embrace me the way I am and is asking for so much more than I can sacrifice for it to accept me as one of its own…

I’m also caught up in my feelings for a parent who seems to have forgotten he had a daughter. He was never able to be there for me and now, when I need him the most, he packs up and walks out the door…And a brother who takes me as a part time sister and a mother who is never satisfied with me as a whole, and who always expects more and more!

As for the man who was keeping me sane through all the madness, I guess I was too much for him to handle… Since I am not the kind of girl who life usually smiles at, he decided not to be a part of my struggle and just disappeared into the clouds of winter with no sign of reconsidering rains!

I want you all to understand something: I am not in pain because of what I mentioned above. No, people come and go, bad things happen to good people, and I know all that talk so please don’t write me comments trying to cheer me up with those words.

I am in pain because I have worked so hard to gain the love and trust of all those mentioned above. I did all that I could, and even more then out of the blue, something or someone so insignificant and worthless, comes along and just takes all the hard work I have put and just dumps it in some old smelly garbage can at the side of the road!

Furthermore, to make it even worse, those I love, those who know how much I have given, how much more I can give, they just surrender, they give up on me, just like that…

So now, you tell me, what more could I have done? And seriously, did I deserve all this?

I rest my case…

If Only...

If only things could be as simple as the greens of a tree…
If only they thought a bit deeper about you and me…
If only they would let us out of those cages and just set us free…

If only I was a bit tougher maybe I could deal…
If only I was a bit less sensitive to barely feel…
If only I could stand still, not bend or kneel…

If only winter would be less chilly than it is…
If only we could always feel the pure summer bliss…
If only those people who leave we just never miss…

If only we can sleep as sound as babies do…
If only we could easily learn things we never knew…
If only smiles were many and disappointments were a few…

If only she could realize how her actions affect the life of others too…
If only the sky could always be so pure, so clear and so blue…
If only they can feel the pressure they constantly place on you…

If only stars always shine with the passion of reds…
If only we could sleep on cloudy cotton beds…
If only it was safe to use our hearts instead of our heads!

Caught in the Web!

We may be tougher than we thought,
It’s harder for us to break.
Yet when in the webs of love we’re caught,
Deep inside us the strength will shake.

We may be able to handle pain,
Against suffering stand with pride,
We tend to uphold being logical and sane,
Just as long as matters of the heart are aside.

We may be able to swallow our tears,
Shout, scream, converse and fight,
Yet tears tend to slip from fears,
Of being left behind and surviving the night.

We might be able to live with no hopes,
Watch our dreams fall apart and fade,
Yet as we are tangled up in love’s ropes,
We are mixed up between true light and shade.

We might be able to smile to others,
We might be able to make them laugh too,
As we hide the ache that slowly smothers,
Our soul and makes it so ill and blue…

The Past Lingers On...

Sickened with anger and infused with pain, my Tuesday morning begins…
Thoughts of what they said and why, I pay the price of my unmade sins…
“Live in the present, the past is gone,” is the lie they make you believe…
While behind you there are whispering mouths planning to lie and deceive…
That joke called happiness, and those fake promises of a better day to come…
So why are my eyes so swollen, why are my heartbeats replaced with a hum?
Even building of concrete against the Tsunami quivered and disgracefully fell!
The end unwritten seems to have chosen a finale called: The Road to Hell!
My Tuesday morning begins, I’m nauseated with disgust of what I was forced to hear…
No one can help me now with the tornadoes that head my way; they are getting near!
I now look back at the old days, many years ago, when I was young and headstrong…
I would give anything to get a second chance, I would do anything may it be “right” or “wrong”!
Lost in between two cities, my world now crumbles into little shreds of losses and despairs…
Observing the pieces of the puzzle fade, one by one, while no one is aware, no one really cares!
Through my prison window, I hear people breathing with more ease than me…
I wonder: will a day come when they will leave me alone? Will they ever let me be?
The final question that I can’t escape from is simple: Do I stay or just pack up and leave?
Are there any more surprises driving my lane? Any more nets of fabrications left to weave?

Overwhelming Winds of Change...

Waves bashing against the rocks, breaking into a billion tears…
Winds smashing into the walls of nothingness and stirring up the fears…
Storms of despair creeping in with so much determination to destroy the coming years!

She knew it was time to take off her old sorrows and dress in white…
She was certain she had to be strong and find the will in her to fight…
She wanted to find a new hope, a different delight…

Dark nights came and bright days fled away…
She had nothing further she could say…
She thrived to break free and save the day!

Rains fiercely dropped onto the parched cheeks and she wiped them away with her hands…
She pulled her hair back and tied up the drenched and fuzzy strands…
One further step into the grounds of the unknown and into the distant lands…

The strings on her poppet soul she was able to cut loose…
Her mental clock alarm she decided to put on snooze…
It's time for her to take a decision; it's time for her to choose!

Dark nights came and bright days fled away…
She had nothing further she could say…
She thrived to break free and save the day!

Mending Bridges...

Break free from clings like desperation,
Place your faith ahead of you; find your destination.

Toughen up; don't wait for a helping hand to save you,
Sober up from your dreams; or you'll never come through.

Some will blame you and others will fight you with their might,
Keep it together; you've seen the shadows and you've tasted the light!

Keep believing in what you are and hold on to those so dear,
Make no promises you can't keep; lend a helping hand, a listening ear!

Close your eyes so tight, make a sincere wish,
Don't fill up your mind or overload your dish!

Never give up faith in a better day to come and sweep you of your feet,
Cuddle up in your bed with happy thoughts; keep your tears away from your pillow and sheet!

Only great friendships will last; others will fade away,
Knowing that will make you able to face your day.

Against love only we will always yield and succumb,
Wait patiently for that true love will one day come!

Relationships: Celebrating Failure!

It has been a while now since I wrote anything personal… I have been so caught up in my articles for the magazine, which although can be very interesting and challenging yet have to be void of private feelings or any form of bias…

I feel I need a break to write about me now, to vent…

There are many times which I took haven in my won words…
Many times which I hid in my own writings and used them as an escape from my own feelings…
My thoughts sometimes feel like a loose cannon which might discharge and attack at any given moment and I use writing as a way to run away from confrontation or as a way to tame my thoughts…

I need to tame my thoughts again… I need to run and hide deep in my words…

The subject I will address today is a common one, one which many of you have thought of and have written about: relationships… Yet, today, I would like address it in a different manner and celebrate the failure of my relationships with you!

Whether they were love relations, friendships or relationships between family members, relationships are very complicated.

The constant struggle to maintain any kind of relationship is overwhelming…

The amount of time and effort that should be placed in every relationship is consuming…

The ability to balance the rights and the wrongs and the goods and bads in any relationship is overrated and never accurate…

Relationships are very sensitive and fragile…

They are a bond between two people who have shared different experiences and have different personalities…

Relationships are measured by their quality and some even measure them by time…

They are one of the greatest valuable assets one might have…

I come here today, and I raise my white flag and confess: I failed!

I failed to be the part of the relationship I always aimed to be…

I failed to play the role of the "maintainer" or the "fixer" which I continuously inspired to take on…

My understanding of the complexity and fragility of relationships is the main reason for my confession… I should have known better… I should have been wiser…

Let's celebrate my failure today yet hope for some successes tomorrow...

A Day's Closure...

I still believe that there is a pure goodness in everyone I meet…
I trust that purity of a soul can not become a completely stained sheet!

Deep inside each of us, I know there lives an innocent and lost child…
A child who is scared of facing life; who constantly we try to hide…

There in the horizon, there must be a better day for us which we need to seek…
However we view life, we should face the pain and strive never to be weak…

I comprehend that things are not always what they seem to be…
That there is no certain end until you can be yourself and I can be me!

I wish for a better understanding of things that will come along…
Until then I will do what I think is right, even if it turns out to be wrong!

Her Statement... (Cont'd)

Due to the fact that my last post titled "statement" was perceived to be "not so clear", allow me to elucidate…

This post is really a two-sided coin… It touches upon two parallel subjects: life and dreams (conjured realities)…

I will talk about life first but briefly because I have mentioned my view about it many a times!

As many perceive it, life is a whirlpool; an endless road; a never ending challenge… And I agree… Life throws at you all those struggles and tests which you are supposed to pass and overcome with hard work and resistance in order to attain what Maslow referred to self-achievement, in his hierarchy of needs…

Through this struggle, we tend to lose ourselves at some points, break down at others and we sometimes even get to a point where we really consider giving up hope… This is where conjuring realities steps in…

For years now, numerous stories have been told about "witches" and black magic all trying to conjure spirits to serve them in their own benefits (whether they are good or bad is besides my point)…

The act of conjuring a reality stems from the need for another scope, another view; another hope…

If the girl I refer to in "Statement" chooses to conjure to her own reality which is loaded with colorful rainbows and yellow butterflies then it should be known… She will not give up even if that means she will spend her time alternating between her "real" reality and the one she chooses to conjure until her "real" reality improves!

Her Statement...

Brimming with a newly founded hope she made up her mind with a one simple statement…

"There is nothing wrong with conjuring my own reality as long as I have the magnificent faith it demands and the huge mad energy it requires…"

Life & Its Levels...

In life, there are a billion things that you could think about, a million more that you could analyze and try to explain, I am sure many of them you will never find an answer for and many others will keep you feeling confused, angry or even hollow…

Today, this very amusing yet unnerving thought crossed my mind… Allow me to share it with you…

Basically, as I was so deeply lost in my daily ideas and contemplations, the idea of life and its "levels" occurred to me… I will elaborate…

Without even realizing it, life is of many levels in every little thing we do and every place we go… Whether you are buying the business class or the economy class ticket on an airplane, or attending a concert while seated in the VIP area or standing in the "regular" area, whether you are cruising in a new 2008 posh car or just using your 1980 car to get to work, whether you go to a five stars hotel during your "monthly" vacation or you just settle for a bed in a friend's apartment…. It is all levels…

Moreover and on a more social level, you are either an employer or an employee, a lover or a beloved, a liar or a person being lied to and the list goes on forever…

Now, what is the major thing which differentiates us in life? What is the only thing that can make our existence worthwhile? Is it the money we spend? The level of education? The power we have?

I guess not…

It is all about who we really are and what we want from people and from life… It is about our morals, values and beliefs and what we opt to achieve… Everything else holds no substantial meaning, all other factors will eventually vanish one day… Our core is what truly will matter at the end of the day… When night time comes and as we lay our heads on the pillow and try to fall asleep… It is the clear conscious we are able to sustain knowing that we are on the "right" track…

The levels will eventually disappear into vacuum…
We are what we choose to be…

Silent Accusations...

Someone asked me today about my "theory about life"… He accused me of being a negative and somewhat of a self-destructive pessimist…

I tend to disagree…

Looking back at my life, the days, months and years that have passed, the tears and agony that I was forced to suffer, the guilt that is tangles deep within every breath, the troubles I've had to face, the bad luck that I ran into, the lies that I had to discover and the chaos I had to survive, I see myself as a fighter… A tired yet strong fighter…

It's true, I don't perceive life in fancy bright colors and I don't close my eyes to see rainbows, green meadows and butterflies but I do enjoy the beautiful moments in life whenever they come my way… I do enjoy music, all music, in every possible way: whether I close my eyes and listen to it or I dance the night away on its beats… I enjoy meeting new people and knowing them better… I love exploring new places, feelings and I always have goals which I aim to achieve… I enjoy a walk by the beach, a good movie and a long meaningful conversation… I enjoy learning about everything…

Does that really make me negative? Surely not… Yet, what makes me different and makes you, him or her think of me as a pessimist is the fact that I do realize the difference between what is real and what is fake… I do know that nothing is perfect and yeah, life is harsh! And I know for a fact that a smile in the morning will not stop the pain from approaching or the disappointments from appearing…

I am a realist… One which could turn into a stone cold heart or an emotional wreck yet I still am on my feet, on the road of life, fighting…