Due to my unexpected and yet very disturbing allergies I was unable to sleep the whole night. Tossing and turning in my bed, feeling cold and hot flashes, losing breath as if I've been running for hours and thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
The worst part of the night is for sure that in which your worst fears and nightmares, thoughts and worries and hurtful words of others decide to slip in your bed next to you, wrap themselves real tight under your covers and start haunting you!
During those hours of uneasiness, especially last night, my inhibitions slowly pushed me out of my own bed and then dragged me here, to the PC, to write.
I am now staring blankly into the monitor and thinking of which agitating thought to tackle in this piece of writing and I really can't seem to choose just one!
I know many of you have spent sleepless hours thinking about one or more of your problems, analyzing them, trying to play the doctor's role to diagnose the reasons behind them and prescribe a solution for them and I know many of you have succeeded to do so while others failed!
On the scale of one to ten, I think my problem solving technique could be rated as one (being the lowest possible score) following this series of useless wasted hours that caused no rational or even irrational solutions to any of my problems!
A pause--- the thoughts come to a halt as I take a look into the horizon and see the sky flooded with clouds of grey and white shades and tips of gold reflecting of the sun.
As I slowly take my eyes away from the awe of nature, I once again fall into my own carefully woven blanket of thoughts… "What now?" I ask myself while the echoes of my question linger on in the back of my mind…
The worst part of the night is for sure that in which your worst fears and nightmares, thoughts and worries and hurtful words of others decide to slip in your bed next to you, wrap themselves real tight under your covers and start haunting you!
During those hours of uneasiness, especially last night, my inhibitions slowly pushed me out of my own bed and then dragged me here, to the PC, to write.
I am now staring blankly into the monitor and thinking of which agitating thought to tackle in this piece of writing and I really can't seem to choose just one!
I know many of you have spent sleepless hours thinking about one or more of your problems, analyzing them, trying to play the doctor's role to diagnose the reasons behind them and prescribe a solution for them and I know many of you have succeeded to do so while others failed!
On the scale of one to ten, I think my problem solving technique could be rated as one (being the lowest possible score) following this series of useless wasted hours that caused no rational or even irrational solutions to any of my problems!
A pause--- the thoughts come to a halt as I take a look into the horizon and see the sky flooded with clouds of grey and white shades and tips of gold reflecting of the sun.
As I slowly take my eyes away from the awe of nature, I once again fall into my own carefully woven blanket of thoughts… "What now?" I ask myself while the echoes of my question linger on in the back of my mind…
1 comments:
Beebee, I stumbled onto your blogsite by accident.
I am much older than you but I have come to believe that our physical age is just and only that, physical . I wish, dream, and feel just as I did when I was much younger, some of my most special memories are from a very young age. OK, that said, when I was much younger I used to lie awake half the night worrying and contemplating my life and life's path. I did finally reach a point in my life when after having my wife leave me and taking my children that I finally was forced to find a resolve inside of my self to keep going. What worked for me was this, simply the statement "first and always to thine own self be true". In other words do only what seems right based on your core feelings. Sometimes that takes some contemplation to resolve what those are but once something seems right ,honest and true hold to it. Face up to your naysayers with a gentle but firm resolve. If later you discover that you were wrong simply admit it to your self and go on. There is something to be gained always from our mistakes and you have the comfort of having done that which seemed right at the time. Our feelings are our lamp in the dark, trust them.
With that in place loving and sharing love with another loving soul is what I believe to be God's gift to us on earth.
Post a Comment