The Choices We Don't Make!!

There are many things in life we are forced to accept and maybe even embrace; things that we have no choice in, things we can never change…

The simplest of these can be who our parents or relatives are, where we are from, where we were born, our religion, our early childhood experiences, the color of our eyes, our height, what our names are, moving on to things such as who we end up loving, or who ends up loving us!!

I'm sure many of you out there have thought about these things at one point or another… Many of you wished you lived someone else's life, where in someone else's shoes, had someone else's girl/guy, name, childhood, etc…

After hearing the great news of my closest friend being pregnant with a baby girl, I feel the need to admit this: Though I am so besieged with happiness for her, and though I'm planning to be the best "aunty" I can ever be, I still feel a pinch of jealousy, not envy, just jealousy… I want that… I want it more than she does!

Which brings me back to the subject: we have no choice over whom we love or who loves us… Which is sad, very sad… Because even though I realize that I am greatly loved (in the sense of male to female love), it aches to think that never have I yet loved and been loved, with the same amount of passion, loyalty and commitment up until this day!

Please don't get me wrong… I do not sit around and waste my time waiting for that moment to come but it comes and goes, just like that, due to external reasons I have no control over!

So, back at point minus one… Nothingness, numbness and waiting… For a new day, maybe a new choice, maybe a new horizon!