Might Trick Me Once... And Twice???

I have spent time fixing my hair today, gently curling every lock with my fingers, but there's no one there to see…
I have polished my nails, French style, and chose something cute to wear; I guess I just did it for me!
I have bathed in my strawberry body spray and added a pinch of his favorite perfume, but again, he was not there…
I now finally believe that all the things he once said, every single word, never really meant that he will ever truly care…
I have stripped my soul from fear, held out my heart in my hands and reached out to touch his spirit and tried to set it free…
Yet I have realized that what I need from him, he could never ever be!
I have given destiny yet another attempt to play me and fool me around…
Another chance to raise me high above and just throw me back on the ground…
I have no more will to fight, to hold on, to give up or even let go…
Will I EVER have my faith again? I don't think, I don't know…