Someone once said, “Loneliness is full of life,” but I beg to differ:
My loneliness you became…
No words to be spoken, no reasons to cast blame…
My loneliness in a world so unbelievably cruel,
You lay the foundation and you make every rule!
My loneliness and I breathe your last words in despair,
Wondering, pondering, questioning, did you ever really care?
My loneliness you blend within the past with an ache,
Never thought that my heart was able to falter again and break!
My loneliness I call your name in the midst of my confusion,
Asking you for an answer to how this, all of it, could have been an illusion?
My loneliness and I know I could have been the one,
But then again I didn’t play by the book, I didn’t set like the sun…
My loneliness how I miss you even though you’ve been gone not too long,
I pray for you in silence, I write an angry poem, I sing a grieving song…
My loneliness and I swear to you I am strong and my will is of steel,
Yet you refused to let me drive, you always held on to the wheel!
My loneliness as the wind touches my skin and I tremble,
Tears dance in my eyes and I fight hard not to surrender…
My loneliness like a sweet sugared dream,
Strawberry coated, chocolate glazed with a touch of cream!
My loneliness your scent I swear I miss,
Your long day’s sweat, your aura, its bliss…
My loneliness forgive me, for I have fell too fast,
Clumsily believing that anything deep must eventually last…
My loneliness maybe one day, and maybe not,
I just hope this bleeding will be covered up and clot!
My loneliness this is the longest I have written in a long long time,
I insist that what I felt, how I felt it, could not be mistaken with a crime!
My loneliness I thought I found you, the answer I was looking for,
After I searched under every tree, above every window and behind every door…
My loneliness I march to the beat of my heart’s fainting desires,
I feel a stabbing twinge as I try to put out your endless fires…
My loneliness and the world around me stares with wondering eyes,
How could SHE be this lonely? How could SHE let herself be devoured by sighs?
My loneliness and I feel the stream of never ending words in my mind,
Could emotions be this deceitful? Could feelings be this blind?
My loneliness as the music plays so close to my ears,
As I scream in silence and I shout in confusion words that no one hears!
My loneliness how I crave just a touch of your warm hand here and now,
A kiss on the cheek, a glance through the eyes, a caress that would never end somehow…
My loneliness I used to long to know you in everything you are and maybe,
You managed to stir whirls of emotions and move mountains inside of me…
My loneliness not even a friend can you truly ever become,
To those eyes and feelings I will always kneel, bow and succumb!
My loneliness there’s so much hollowness left by your absence,
Though in this life there are always many options and billions of chances…
My loneliness you could’ve been so close, forever sacred, eternally dear…
You could’ve reshaped the planets, relit the stars, harbored oceans by just being near…
My loneliness like a phantom organ you will remain here within me,
Memories of your face have the strength to keep me chained and never set me free…
My loneliness, my forgotten smile, my never-ending hesitation,
A mind so jumbled burdened with untaken decisions bigger than God’s creation!
My loneliness last night I used to bleed but now the bleeding has stopped,
The weight I carried upon my shoulders, after this piece, just simply dropped!
My loneliness with a beautiful inner child that needs to be held tight,
I will leave you with these words to cradle you through the lonely night…
My loneliness you became…
No words to be spoken, no reasons to cast blame…
My loneliness in a world so unbelievably cruel,
You lay the foundation and you make every rule!
My loneliness and I breathe your last words in despair,
Wondering, pondering, questioning, did you ever really care?
My loneliness you blend within the past with an ache,
Never thought that my heart was able to falter again and break!
My loneliness I call your name in the midst of my confusion,
Asking you for an answer to how this, all of it, could have been an illusion?
My loneliness and I know I could have been the one,
But then again I didn’t play by the book, I didn’t set like the sun…
My loneliness how I miss you even though you’ve been gone not too long,
I pray for you in silence, I write an angry poem, I sing a grieving song…
My loneliness and I swear to you I am strong and my will is of steel,
Yet you refused to let me drive, you always held on to the wheel!
My loneliness as the wind touches my skin and I tremble,
Tears dance in my eyes and I fight hard not to surrender…
My loneliness like a sweet sugared dream,
Strawberry coated, chocolate glazed with a touch of cream!
My loneliness your scent I swear I miss,
Your long day’s sweat, your aura, its bliss…
My loneliness forgive me, for I have fell too fast,
Clumsily believing that anything deep must eventually last…
My loneliness maybe one day, and maybe not,
I just hope this bleeding will be covered up and clot!
My loneliness this is the longest I have written in a long long time,
I insist that what I felt, how I felt it, could not be mistaken with a crime!
My loneliness I thought I found you, the answer I was looking for,
After I searched under every tree, above every window and behind every door…
My loneliness I march to the beat of my heart’s fainting desires,
I feel a stabbing twinge as I try to put out your endless fires…
My loneliness and the world around me stares with wondering eyes,
How could SHE be this lonely? How could SHE let herself be devoured by sighs?
My loneliness and I feel the stream of never ending words in my mind,
Could emotions be this deceitful? Could feelings be this blind?
My loneliness as the music plays so close to my ears,
As I scream in silence and I shout in confusion words that no one hears!
My loneliness how I crave just a touch of your warm hand here and now,
A kiss on the cheek, a glance through the eyes, a caress that would never end somehow…
My loneliness I used to long to know you in everything you are and maybe,
You managed to stir whirls of emotions and move mountains inside of me…
My loneliness not even a friend can you truly ever become,
To those eyes and feelings I will always kneel, bow and succumb!
My loneliness there’s so much hollowness left by your absence,
Though in this life there are always many options and billions of chances…
My loneliness you could’ve been so close, forever sacred, eternally dear…
You could’ve reshaped the planets, relit the stars, harbored oceans by just being near…
My loneliness like a phantom organ you will remain here within me,
Memories of your face have the strength to keep me chained and never set me free…
My loneliness, my forgotten smile, my never-ending hesitation,
A mind so jumbled burdened with untaken decisions bigger than God’s creation!
My loneliness last night I used to bleed but now the bleeding has stopped,
The weight I carried upon my shoulders, after this piece, just simply dropped!
My loneliness with a beautiful inner child that needs to be held tight,
I will leave you with these words to cradle you through the lonely night…
4 comments:
The inner child is awesome :)
PS. I care ........................
So beautiful, entrancing...
My loneliness, you called my name?
I sit and ponder, just the same...
I feel my throat, I choke as i read...
Your strings of words, knit to make me bleed...
Then I lay me, down to sleep...
Close my eyes, before they weep...
Longing for you, longing still...
I wish for a cure, I'd pop that pill...
For now thoughts of you, my head won't let go...
They keep me sane, I'm crazy I know...
So beautiful, entrancing...
My loneliness, you called my name?
I sit and ponder, just the same...
I feel my throat, I choke as i read...
Your strings of words, knit to make me bleed...
Then I lay me, down to sleep...
Close my eyes, before they weep...
Longing for you, longing still...
I wish for a cure, I'd pop that pill...
For now thoughts of you, my head won't let go...
They keep me sane, I'm crazy I know...
I always gaze in disbelief at the pain two people who love each other can inflict upon each other. But of course, it is only someone we love and who loves us can inflict such devastating hurt. I have been where you stand now and can still not understand what happened. I still look to the sky and mouth silently "Why?"
In You Bleed Me you exploded with rage and hate and in My Loneliness.. you are yearning, pining, hoping, in truth, he'll walk back through the door... It is too sad. My heart cries out to you! I need to somehow sooth your pain, but there is only ONE who can even begin to fill the void in your life at the moment. Time is the healer, but we carry the scars forever like deeply etched tattoos on the heart.
You write with great power. I can see so clearly two people in love who can no longer trust the other. Trust is the anchor for love. Without trust love flies off the handle so to speak... (I'm going to quote that on Twitter...) :)
You know, of course, a pain like yours is never one sided? Even when he is with another he will be lonely and yearning and pining too, probably watching doors and wishing they would open to you... If I, for instance, were to offer you love now, it would be like a damp rag trying to mop up a flood... :) Time is the healer. Keep writing and releasing... x
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