Destiny: The Head Chef

While sitting in the kitchen earlier this afternoon, this funny yet logical idea occurred to me… I let it sink in well and here I am presenting it to you… Enjoy…

Now, we all know that different people hold different positions and jobs in life… Well, life itself and destiny also have a job too. I am not very well able to define life's job scope or its skills yet I think I have managed to find the right job description for destiny.

Let me lay it down in a CV form in order to spice it up a bit!

Name: Destiny
Current Address: Nowhere and everywhere… Mostly found in people's minds and faith.
Date of birth: Too long ago.

Required Position: Head Chef

Skills:

- Ability to cook great coincidences to bring people together.
- Ability to make great changes with the simplest ingredients.
- Ability to create constantly changing recipes of happiness, sorrow, joy, pain, disappointments etc…

Availability:

At all times if you believe.



I know this post lacks a lot more ideas and that is why I will stop here and allow you to use your imagination…

Dedicated To A Special Someone...

"No one can bring me back to life now…" Those were that words he said last to me…
He never spoke of happiness, of a new beginning or how it would feel to be free…
Free of the pain, free of the aches and free of her mostly and foremost…
And all I could think of was how I could hold his hand and lead him to the calm and safe coast…
I could feel the little child inside of him, see him there shivering and so scared…
I knew he is taking in so much that his heart overflowed yet he rarely shared!
In his music he hid, behind the screen, and watched the curtains of his life fall…
Never believing that someone along the way could come and help him through it all…

"Come here; stand a little bit closer, I know how you feel…"
I said over and over again but he couldn't distinguish the fake from real…

I take a deep breath, I shed a tear and I let out a sigh…
I feel defeat and disappointment which I can't deny…

"Beautiful people like you have the right to be happy and feel love…
They have the right to feel the joy of life and the peace from up above"…

Meaaaw!

Scene 2: In Between The Sheets

She changed into her night gown and slowly slipped underneath the sheets…

Now, she had him there all by himself, all for herself…

He whispered to her words that only she could ever hear… He spoke with ease yet loaded with different questions and emotional disputes…

It was late now and she was finally alone with him… And as it often happens, the late night time is the only time when she regularly listens while he just speaks to her… Sometimes all through the night, until the break of dawn…

He asked her:

"Don't you think you've had enough by now? I mean all the hurt and all the pain? I've been there to watch you crumble and plunge… I've seen yours tears fall, so many times, over your cheeks and die while touching your neck… I've felt the pain you have felt… Don't you think it's time for you to give up?"

Oh the silence of the dark, dark night…

She shifted, curled up and tried to change her sleeping position, maybe then she won't hear what he is saying because she has heard it all before: the blame, the guilt, the emptiness, the hopelessness and the disappointment…

She then took her pillow from underneath her head and covered her head with it… But with no use, her mind just kept nagging for an answer…

She finally gave up, and faced him with an answer:

"I still believe in the beauty of love… I know it's hard to find… But what is life without taking that chance? Leaping to that mountain ahead? Walking that extra step?

"But, but what about the pain? What about the…"

She interrupted ….

"Granted, all those tears made it harder to see the splendor which love can bring… All those fights make it difficult to hear the sweet words of love which are whispered in your ear… All those doubts and heart breaks make it sometimes almost impossible to swim in the oceans of emotions, bathe in the showers of passion and drink from the glasses of pure, untainted and untouched feelings… Yet, it is better to love and be hurt than never to feel the power of love… Don't you agree?"

The summer's cool breeze finds its way through her window and slowly creeps up to tenderly touch her face… And outside, she can hear the trees scheming for their late night flamingo!

Now… she just lays down there, feeling so exposed, she finally confessed… Did he already know?

"Of course I knew… And for years, I've been trying to knock some sense into you! But alas, all my trials have obviously failed!"

She now faced another dilemma… How can she convince him of something she no longer could feel, or at least haven't felt in a long time?

With hesitation, she asked:

"Don't you remember the happiness we felt before? The anticipation of the moment where two lovers' eyes meet? The warmth that fills up both of them upon a soft, gentle touch on the hand? Don't you remember the joy of spending time together, doing anything, no matter how simple? How during those times the concept of time and place just vanishes and people fade away? How everything seems so easy and doable? How peace just cuddles you?"

A sarcastic grin then he goes on to say:

"Oh yeah I remember… I remember very well… That temporary insanity! That fake feeling of wellness and divided happiness… I also remember how easily they could be shattered and broken into pieces by the smallest of actions and simplest of words…"

I guess it's enough for now… She thought…

She got off of her bed… Snuck up to her drawers and took out a sleeping pill…

As she slipped into her bed once more, she swallowed the pill and hoped for a good night sleep…

Half an hour has passed…

She hears nothing… She feels nothing… She finally can not think…

She is falling into deep sleep now… "Café Del Mar" playing in the background…

Scene 1: Alone With Him

She sat him down, on the sofa, by her side and looked deep into his eyes…

This night was going to be different, she could feel it… She had so much to say and she was ready to let it all out…

She could clearly see the smile which aims to mask his confusion… She could see the anticipating that filled his voice… She will not wait any longer; it's time to confess what she held inside for so long…

Gently, she took his hand and spoke her mind:

"My desert-island, all-time, top three most memorable break-ups, in chronological order are as follows" (and she named them for him, first name first then followed by the family names!)


"Those were the ones that really hurt. I can't see your name on that list, can you see your? Maybe you'd sneak into the top six, but there no place for you in the top three. Sorry!"
– She cleared her throat and went back to saying:
"Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliations and heartbreaks that you're just not capable of delivering.

That probably sounds crueler than it's meant to, but the fact is, we've been through so much, each on his/her own pace and through his/her own experience to make each other miserable! You see, long ago, unhappiness used to actually mean something. Now it's just a haul like a fever or being temporarily broke!

If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten me earlier!"

He looked at her with a blank face; waiting for a sentence or a signal that there is more to come… More to explain… Maybe hoping for a little optimism…

She felt his perplexity so she hurried up to continue and said:

"I'm worried about my abilities as a lover! I mean after all the things I have been through, after giving up so much, taking my chances with him, fighting for the other and being the biggest loser, I currently run the risk of believing that there is anyone worth spending the rest of my life with!"

Long pause…

"Number one… Let's call him H.A for the sake of ease… Well, he was one of the people who really meant the world to me… He had to do no effort to make me happy; him being there, alive and well was the only reason I needed to feel peace with myself and my surroundings… I gave up too much for him… I did all that I could ever do to make him happy… I really did! I'm not just saying that! I stood by is side like a mother, like a sister, like a friend… I knew he could never do the same for me – the smallest of things he would never do, not because he couldn't, just because of his highly expanded ego! Well, he found another and another and another and easily let go of me… Just like that… And believe me, I've waited… I've waited for him to come back because I knew no one would love him more and take him with all his faults… I knew it… But that didn't matter because he never came back…"

A sigh… A tear…

"Yeah, well that is gone now… We're not even friends anymore… Though I worked hard on keeping that at least!

Number too? Mr. Career-oriented I can't work and be in a relationship F.M! Well, six months and it was over… With all its beauty and all its potential, it was over… He moved on too quickly… He skipped town for a better job opportunity…"

Well… I won't talk about number three because I think you understand what I mean now…

I wish I could be one of those girls who don't call back, the kind of girl that gets broken up with and appears not to give a shit!! But I am! I never had the heart for the rejection conversation! And I never will!

But if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say that I'm pissed because I know I'm stuck with you, bound to you, and I don't like it. That dreamy anticipation you have when you're fifteen or twenty that the right person for you, the most perfect person in the world might walk into your store or office or friend's party at any moment... That's all gone, I think, and that's enough to piss anybody off. You are who I am now, and it's no good pretending otherwise!"

Those were the last words she said…

The scene ends with the same sting… The same characters… The end is yet undefined…

Taking The Chance...

As I sat there, feeling the water caress every part of my body and the sun touching my face and arm so gently, I realized something, something I have never ever really thought of before: how life is about taking that chance, going that extra mile…

Squeezing yourself in a corner, away from people, away from life's main stream will get you no where… Granted it will keep you away from being hurt, lied to, played or manipulated yet it will, eventually, fill your head with negative thoughts, alienate you from your society and deprive you of the true meaning of happiness…

It's all about accepting that coffee invitation, making that call, going to that place, doing things you usually wouldn't do because you're just scared people will talk, afraid you'll bump into him/her or worried that you won't have fun…

No one can predict, beforehand, how things will turn out…

It's all about taking that chance… A least, later on you can say: I tried… I put an effort… I fought hard for my happiness (even if you fail!)

Summer's Early Goodbye...

Summer is slowly drifting, calmly slipping away…
I call for it, I beg and pray…
"Please, please don't leave, I beg you please stay"…

The leaves are turning yellow and brown…
I see my face draw a sad frown…
I tremble and shiver; I feel I'm breaking down…

Memories and speculations are all I have with me…
Rain drops outside is what I'm starting to see…
I ask everyone to just let me be…

The cool autumn chill creeps up my spine and face…
I am all alone missing the warm embrace…
I drift into emptiness and I stare into space…

The clouded sun waits again to shine once again…
I hold on so tightly and swallow my pain…
As I watch the good days run down the drain!

Now I sit here and wait for the rain to wash away the dust…
I can see the iron covered with rust…
I know I should go, I really must…

Through the chanting of the trees I hear your name…
I can feel the distance; I can taste the blame…
I crumble and I burn in my own fading flame…

Long Gone Days of Glory!

How I miss those days of smiles, games and fun…
Days when everything was easy; we'd hold hands and run!
How I long for those nights when I lay my head on the pillow and fall in deep sleep…
Nights that didn't know the meaning of loneliness and where nightmares didn't dare to creep!
How I pray for those days of love to find me once more…
For my "prince charming" to come knocking at my door…
How I hate this bundle of confusion that I'm left with these days!
This meaningless anger that aches me in different ways!
How I want that peace of mind and happiness I feel I deserve…
That pure joy and bliss and a new life's curve!

No more words to be said now, just silence left to linger on…
Like I did before, I will wait for those things to come along…

Hide & Sleep...

He wished he could just run away from the troubles and pain…
He wanted to just hide and sleep!
He felt that there was no profit he could gain…
The pain hurt him so deep!

They all pressured him to be better; they knew he could do more…
They felt that this phase he's going through is hard to ignore…

She stood there by his side and tightly held his hand…
She told him it will be ok, she will always understand…

He still refused to embrace what she offered and instead chose to be alone…
He fought her away with every breath, his flesh and every bone…

She cried and cried and felt so defeated…
She believed together they could beat it!

Now only silence is left behind and no one dares to speak…
She will not surrender and he will keep feeling weak!

His Surrender... Her Sorrow...

He made a sudden appearance in her life, caught her by surprise, and blew her off her feet while she off guard, and unprepared…
She was then alone, so tangled up in her troubles, so angry and upon his appearance on the stage of her life she felt something undeclared…
He had the warmest smile, the gentlest touch, the deepest eyes and said the truest of words…
She felt his passion, submerged herself in his love, drank his sweetness and sang in utter joy with the humming birds…
He showed her a different aspect of life, one which he played the role of her Romeo; her white knight…
She was able to feel peace now that he was close; she was able to enjoy every day and embrace every night…
He taught her how to love with all her heart and guided her to giving more and more…
She felt safe and secure and believed in herself and the good in the world more than any time before!
He then vanished, packed his suitcase and walked out the door and never came back!
She felt shattered, abandoned, abused and her blue skies turned into a dreadful black…
He never gave any reasons for why he left, never explained, didn't even send a message or even leave a note!
She was just left there in the middle of the ocean of her deceased happiness, stranded alone on her misery boat!

They could have had it all: the happiness, the hopes, the dreams and the prefect love…
Instead now they are only a story that people who knew them speak of!

Forgive Me World For I Have...

Forgive me world for I have failed!
Failed to recognize the beauty bestowed in your twists and curves…
Failed to hold on to my dreams and to nourish my soul as it deserves!
Failed to believe in the "good" of people after so many losing rounds!
Failed to find some peace upon them and failed to locate our common grounds!

Forgive me world for I have lied!
Lied about being strong and invincible; lied about being not scared…
Lied about not caring about all the rumors people spread and shared!
Lied about being able to "do it alone" with no one there to take my hand…
Lied about finding my real home, my haven, my true home land…

Forgive me world for I have cried!
Cried to the days and cried to the nights…
Cried because of all those endless fights!
Cried not knowing the pains others may have felt…
Cried until my eyes became red and welt!

Forgive me world for I longer could fail or lie or cry…
I no longer could bear disappointments, shames or another good bye!

It's Been Long...

It has been so long since I sat down behind this cold screen and decided to write…
I feel like it was in another life, a lifetime I somehow left behind…
It feels as if it was ages ago the time I put up, against this life's hardships, a good fight…
As if my reoccurring nightmares were able to get the best of me and forced me to hide…
Everything still feels so unreal now, like I'm living in an endless dream…
Shadows and faces haunt my every thought, taking me back to where I was…
A million ideas looping around my heavy headed head and I stop to scream…
But my voice is a silent choke and the world is brought to a pause…

Let's Talk About.... Jealousy!

I’ve been single for a while now yet the idea of jealousy, what it is, what it represents, how to handle it and its advantages and disadvantages has been chasing me around for a while now! As the dictionary defines it: “Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may have no knowledge of threatening the relationship. The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), and from the Greek word for "ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast"). Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been reported in every culture and in many forms where researchers have looked. It has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and in adults over 65 years old.” As for me, the term itself presents a dilemma… At university, in my Interpersonal Communication course, Dr. Mohsen stressed that jealousy is the lack of trust in yourself and your partner and it is in no way a sign of love. My ex-boyfriend strongly agreed! Still, I see things differently. I see a beautiful girl who is smart, funny and confident lose grip of rationality when she sees the man she loves flirting with another girl and I see a handsome, caring, loving, giving and intellectual man get annoyed by his girlfriend’s male friends though he knows they are in no way a competition for her heart! So, what does that mean? I believe too much or too little of anything is bad for you! Take alcohol for example: some of it might help reduce the risk of heart problems while a lot of it can cause you liver damage and other serious problems. Or how about sleep? The simple act of closing your eyes and just drifting to dreamland… Too little of it will cause you lack of concentration and fatigue! Now think with me: what is it do you really prefer? No jealousy at all or some that shows that he/she do care and do not take you for granted?

So You Think You Know Me???

Someone recently told me that my writings are too "self-centered" and they only revolve around my concerns and my worries and daily troubles. Through the feedback I usually get from my more frequent readers, I feel that this is an understatement of my writing yet I feel the urge to ask do you feel the same as that someone?

This leads me to today's topic which is, in my opinion, a general concern to many people as well as me of course: Misjudging others. Lately I have been in this circle of constantly and continuously trying to prove to many people that I am a lot more than they perceive me to be; I am more than a confused soul that goes around saying and doing things that I myself can not seem to give logical reasoning for!
First and foremost, I am a person with feelings, which tends to slip many people's minds when talking about my personality, my looks, the way I think, my writings etc.

Second of all, I am an independent entity who has the right to make decisions, even wrong and "stupid" ones. I have the right to chose where to go and when, what to think and why, whom to like and whom to keep my distance from.

Third of all, I am me: a whole full package which can not and will not be divided and/or broken down into pieces to fit people's likes and preferences.

Finally, my faults are my differences from others and I demand respect for them. My insecurities make me the strong person I see myself to be. My confusion always urges me to search for more and seek more from life. My moodiness shapes me into a bundle of smiles, tears and maybe even bursts of anger which channel into a calmer and more serene me with time. My sensitivity brings me closer to earth instead of having my head up in the clouds watching people with no care or empathy. It is the most relevant reason for my writings and for my passion for life and for others who give enough attention and care to be in it.

So why go on and misjudge me just because you THINK you know me? Come here, get a little bit closer and you'll see me for who I am: What you see is what you get and I have nothing to hide.

I know now how easy it is to put "tags" on people and call them different names just by looking at them from a distance. I know now how harsh and even inhuman that can be. So please, throughout your daily lives I urge you to try to always look deeper than the fake accents, the make up, the insignificant talk and dig in to really know who that "other" is, he/she might end up being one of the closest people you might meet!

Sharing My Bed!

Due to my unexpected and yet very disturbing allergies I was unable to sleep the whole night. Tossing and turning in my bed, feeling cold and hot flashes, losing breath as if I've been running for hours and thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

The worst part of the night is for sure that in which your worst fears and nightmares, thoughts and worries and hurtful words of others decide to slip in your bed next to you, wrap themselves real tight under your covers and start haunting you!

During those hours of uneasiness, especially last night, my inhibitions slowly pushed me out of my own bed and then dragged me here, to the PC, to write.

I am now staring blankly into the monitor and thinking of which agitating thought to tackle in this piece of writing and I really can't seem to choose just one!

I know many of you have spent sleepless hours thinking about one or more of your problems, analyzing them, trying to play the doctor's role to diagnose the reasons behind them and prescribe a solution for them and I know many of you have succeeded to do so while others failed!

On the scale of one to ten, I think my problem solving technique could be rated as one (being the lowest possible score) following this series of useless wasted hours that caused no rational or even irrational solutions to any of my problems!

A pause--- the thoughts come to a halt as I take a look into the horizon and see the sky flooded with clouds of grey and white shades and tips of gold reflecting of the sun.

As I slowly take my eyes away from the awe of nature, I once again fall into my own carefully woven blanket of thoughts… "What now?" I ask myself while the echoes of my question linger on in the back of my mind…

Personality Check!

Moving from the private to the public in order to make my writing a little less "self-centered" and more of a public concern, allow me to talk about the different personality types I have met along the road of life. I would like your honest opinions regarding my critique and evaluation of those personalities because I'm sure they have crossed your path as well!

Please note:
*The names I will choose to call each personality is not in any way scientific or philosophically related. I have created each name which will properly portray the characteristics of each personality.
* A person could fall into one or more (yet also none) of the personality types I will be listing.

The "Save Me" Personality:
Those who fall into this category are people who believe they have been through so many hard times in their lives. Whether the "hard times" were in reality harsh or not is not a matter that concerns me.
Now a person with the "Save Me" personality is one which was not able to learn from his/her mistakes or the mistakes of others and always seeks shelter and safety in the arms of someone (or anyone). He/she tries hard to fit into any group and belong. Their loyalties, beliefs and values are flexible and could easily be changed for the sake of 'fitting in".

The "I Don't Give A Damn" Personality:
People who have this type of personality:
Either became so due to the way they were raised, their parents' teachings and their surroundings.
Or became so due to a painful experience which altered their lives and thus their personality.

The "I Don't Give A Damn" personality type usually holds those who will speak and act with no thoughts to others' feelings. They are self-centered and love to be the focal point of everyone's attention. Their life is aimless though they always try to convince others otherwise! They are also rarely scared of anything and friends to them are just a tool that they sue to waste time. Love, in the eyes of this type of personality, is not rational and carries no value.

The "I Am The Boss" Personality:
Now this type of personality is the hardest to deal with!
Everyone who falls under this category always thinks his/her way is the right one. They refuse to listen to what anyone has to say and might not even be willing to hear it! They want things to go as they please at any given time and they do not leave any room for arguing or discussing any topic they have a predefined opinion of.
This personality is one which attracts many weaker and less rooted personalities and it is able to accommodate them and love them all as long as they are the herd and it is the shepherd.


The "Love Me" Personality:
People who have had a bad childhood and who have been haunted by their painful memories will fit just right in this category. The "Love Me" personality is one which is scared, confused and alone. It is one which seeks love constantly and feels complete only when it finds its "better" half. It is capable of giving so much love and attention yet it is always afraid of being abandoned.
People who fall under this type of personalities can be of a strong or weak character and could also be of a good or evil one.

The "Life Is Passing By" Personality:
This personality just stands on the side as the world passes it by. It is passive to changes and experiences. It has no clue of what is going on around and doesn't even think about asking.
People in this classification are the ones who believe that "we will die sooner or later so why the hassle?" They like spending many hours alone doing nothing and thinking about no one. They shy away from any relation that could cause them to think. They could be a lot of fun to hang out with after a long working day because they have an aimless sense of humor which could be tolerated only at times.

Finally, and as one wise man said: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Thank you for your time…

Cabbies: A Different Approach!

And yet another morning… This one was rather calm though: the silence after the storm…

My night was fairly good until that late hour of the night when all my fears and worries conspired against me and pulled out those trapped tears which chose to share my pillow with me and fall asleep by my side…

It passed now… It’s a new day…

I chose not to take the car today… I don’t feel up to driving so I walked out of the house and into the street waiting to find a cab to take me to work…

As I walked and waited, listening to my music and trying to push away those ideas trying to surface, I could see the sun rays color my curls with so much talent and I could feel the warm breeze touch my cheeks with so much tenderness…

A cab pulled up and I got in…

A million “cab-related" ideas started bombarding my mind and for the first time in my life I felt that I had enough of them to actually write an article and dedicate it to “cabbies”!

Take a very short moment to think about this:

How many times a day do we swear, scream or curse at cab drivers?
Don’t you just hate how they forget to let you know before changing lanes or suddenly stopping to pick up someone?
Isn’t it unnerving how they are always in a rush to get somewhere?
If you’re a non-smoker, don’t you just hate it when the cab driver is smoking right next to you?
How about their weird taste in music? The conversations they try to open? The way they look at you in the mirror? How they always like taking the farthest way to drop you off when you might be in a hurry? How many of them seem to never have change!?

Now I do realize how annoying those things may be and how sometimes we tend to lose our temper from their selfish and unethical acts yet clear your mind for a second and think about this:

Do we really know what time this cab driver left his house and what time he will get back? Do we ever think of the number of hours he spends going around picking and dropping me, you, him, her or them up?
If the cab doesn’t put the AC on we complain for those 20 minutes max we will be in the cab, do we ever think how many hours the cab driver spends in his car with no AC?
Can we really blame the cab driver for wanting to “rip us off” those 5 or 10 piasters when the fuel prices are constantly rising and the living conditions are constantly deteriorating?
If we sit alone for an hour we get bored, can we then blame the cab drivers for trying to come up with any kind of conversation in order to pass time?
Finally, are cab drivers really the only ones who fail to follow driving regulations and etiquette?

I’m sure each of you will have different opinions regarding this subject…

My only wish is that it will add a spoon of empathy to your daily encounter with cabbies!

Have a nice day…

Sincere Dedication...

A few days ago I thought of writing something to dedicate it to all my readers, friends and acquaintances and I did and forgot to press the publish button and it was all gone! Since then, I’ve been trying to gather the “right” words to write it again but I can’t seem to get them the way they were but I still have the urge to write it! So here we go:

To everyone who ever passed in my short and humble life time…
To all the true friends who stood by me and supported me…
To all those who criticized me…
To all those who smiled to me and maybe grinned at me behind my back!
To every person who I ever shook hands with…
To every girl or guy who talked to me about his/her fears…
To all those who crossed my path one any given day…

Thank you… Each and every one of you has added something to my life and to my experiences…
Whether you caused me to smile or were a reason for a warm tear, whether you made me laugh or frustrated me and even if you never ever positively or negatively affected me… Each one of you is special in his/her own way… Each one of you left a footstep on the streets of my daily life…

Thank you for breathing and for being alive…

An Unusual Topic...

I do realize that the following piece of writing will not bear any importance to many of you. I also know that many will consider it ridiculous or might even mock it. Therefore, I will give you a brief introduction of the content of it so you can decide whether to go on reading or find something better to do with your time!

The subject of this piece of writing is: My Cat!

We all woke up early this morning because my cat’s vet is coming over to perform an operation! It turns out that my old grumpy cat has cancer and it has spread so close to the spinal cord that if we waited a bit longer, things would have gotten ugly!


What is it that made me feel the urge to write? Well, I’ve had my cat for more than 11 years now and he’s everyone’s spoiled brat at home! From the day I got him and his five little sisters and brothers, he has been one of the family members! I can still remember how we fed him the milk drop by drop and how he used to cuddle next to the dog we had back then, maybe thinking it was his mom!

Though he is a very independent, cunning and moody cat, he is one of the reasons we smile at home! Sometimes, he gets those crazy fits and starts running around the house for no reason and jumping everywhere as if he was bird! At others, he would come crawling next to me if I’m feeling down and he’d insist that he sits in my lap!

Sometimes, this really stubborn cat ignores us until we pretend that we’re calling it for food… He will be in front of me and wouldn’t budge when I call his name then when I say: “ta3meeke”, he’d look up at me with those begging eyes!

My old and grumpy cat was laying on the table in front of us all, drugged, while the vet took out the lump… My cat was laying there still while the vet was doing the stitches… My cat is now asleep, hopefully feeling no pain…

At the end of the day, this was just a cat, yet the whole thing was painful to us… What if…………….?

May God protect all our loved ones and keep them safe…

To the Man Behind the Horizon...

I know I am a semi-rational girl, or at least I think I am but the following brief yet emotionally loaded piece has nothing to do with reason, rationality or sanity…

This is dedicated to the man behind the horizon… The one whose presence is not yet tangible yet powerfully felt… The one whose existence reinforces my faith in everything and anything that is wholly and sacred… To the one who was able, and with the minimum effort possible, to capture and hold captive my thoughts and serenity… To the man behind the horizon: This one goes out to you…

As we chat the day away, and as the hours pass and drift by with no burdens of the next hour or the following step… I sink into blissful thoughts of what I would call the possible impossible… I breathe in and sigh then I whisper these words…

I miss what I might find in you…
I miss who you might be...
I miss who I feel you are...

I wonder what destiny has planned for you and me…
I wonder how things came to be…
I wonder how it will end, where is will lead…

To the man behind the horizon: Thank you for re-entering the stage of my life…