She sat him down, on the sofa, by her side and looked deep into his eyes…
This night was going to be different, she could feel it… She had so much to say and she was ready to let it all out…
She could clearly see the smile which aims to mask
his confusion… She could see the anticipating that filled his voice… She will not wait any longer; it's time to confess what she held inside for so long…
Gently, she took his hand and spoke her mind:
"My desert-island, all-time, top three most memorable break-ups, in chronological order are as follows" (and she named them for him, first name first then followed by the family names!)
"Those were the ones that really hurt. I can't see your name on that list, can you see your? Maybe you'd sneak into the top six, but there no place for you in the top three. Sorry!"
– She cleared her throat and went back to saying:
"Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliations and heartbreaks that you're just not capable of delivering.
That probably sounds crueler than it's meant to, but the fact is, we've been through so much, each on his/her own pace and through his/her own experience to make each other miserable! You see, long ago, unhappiness used to actually mean something. Now it's just a haul like a fever or being temporarily broke!
If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten me earlier!"
He looked at her with a blank face; waiting for a sentence or a signal that there is more to come… More to explain… Maybe hoping for a little optimism…
She felt his perplexity so she hurried up to continue and said:
"I'm worried about my abilities as a lover! I mean after all the things I have been through, after giving up so much, taking my chances with him, fighting for the other and being the biggest loser, I currently run the risk of believing that there is anyone worth spending the rest of my life with!"
Long pause…
"Number one… Let's call him H.A for the sake of ease… Well, he was one of the people who really meant the world to me… He had to do no effort to make me happy; him being there, alive and well was the only reason I needed to feel peace with myself and my surroundings… I gave up too much for him… I did all that I could ever do to make him happy… I really did! I'm not just saying that! I stood by is side like a mother, like a sister, like a friend… I knew he could never do the same for me – the smallest of things he would never do, not because he couldn't, just because of his highly expanded ego! Well, he found another and another and another and easily let go of me… Just like that… And believe me, I've waited… I've waited for him to come back because I knew no one would love him more and take him with all his faults… I knew it… But that didn't matter because he never came back…"
A sigh… A tear…
"Yeah, well that is gone now… We're not even friends anymore… Though I worked hard on keeping that at least!
Number too? Mr. Career-oriented I can't work and be in a relationship F.M! Well, six months and it was over… With all its beauty and all its potential, it was over… He moved on too quickly… He skipped town for a better job opportunity…"
Well… I won't talk about number three because I think you understand what I mean now…
I wish I could be one of those girls who don't call back, the kind of girl that gets broken up with and appears not to give a shit!! But I am! I never had the heart for the rejection conversation! And I never will!
But if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say that I'm pissed because I know I'm stuck with you, bound to you, and I don't like it. That dreamy anticipation you have when you're fifteen or twenty that the right person for you, the most perfect person in the world might walk into your store or office or friend's party at any moment... That's all gone, I think, and that's enough to piss anybody off. You are who I am now, and it's no good pretending otherwise!"
Those were the last words she said…
The scene ends with the same sting… The same characters… The end is yet undefined…
This night was going to be different, she could feel it… She had so much to say and she was ready to let it all out…
She could clearly see the smile which aims to mask
his confusion… She could see the anticipating that filled his voice… She will not wait any longer; it's time to confess what she held inside for so long…Gently, she took his hand and spoke her mind:
"My desert-island, all-time, top three most memorable break-ups, in chronological order are as follows" (and she named them for him, first name first then followed by the family names!)
"Those were the ones that really hurt. I can't see your name on that list, can you see your? Maybe you'd sneak into the top six, but there no place for you in the top three. Sorry!"
– She cleared her throat and went back to saying:
"Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliations and heartbreaks that you're just not capable of delivering.
That probably sounds crueler than it's meant to, but the fact is, we've been through so much, each on his/her own pace and through his/her own experience to make each other miserable! You see, long ago, unhappiness used to actually mean something. Now it's just a haul like a fever or being temporarily broke!
If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten me earlier!"
He looked at her with a blank face; waiting for a sentence or a signal that there is more to come… More to explain… Maybe hoping for a little optimism…
She felt his perplexity so she hurried up to continue and said:
"I'm worried about my abilities as a lover! I mean after all the things I have been through, after giving up so much, taking my chances with him, fighting for the other and being the biggest loser, I currently run the risk of believing that there is anyone worth spending the rest of my life with!"
Long pause…
"Number one… Let's call him H.A for the sake of ease… Well, he was one of the people who really meant the world to me… He had to do no effort to make me happy; him being there, alive and well was the only reason I needed to feel peace with myself and my surroundings… I gave up too much for him… I did all that I could ever do to make him happy… I really did! I'm not just saying that! I stood by is side like a mother, like a sister, like a friend… I knew he could never do the same for me – the smallest of things he would never do, not because he couldn't, just because of his highly expanded ego! Well, he found another and another and another and easily let go of me… Just like that… And believe me, I've waited… I've waited for him to come back because I knew no one would love him more and take him with all his faults… I knew it… But that didn't matter because he never came back…"
A sigh… A tear…
"Yeah, well that is gone now… We're not even friends anymore… Though I worked hard on keeping that at least!
Number too? Mr. Career-oriented I can't work and be in a relationship F.M! Well, six months and it was over… With all its beauty and all its potential, it was over… He moved on too quickly… He skipped town for a better job opportunity…"
Well… I won't talk about number three because I think you understand what I mean now…
I wish I could be one of those girls who don't call back, the kind of girl that gets broken up with and appears not to give a shit!! But I am! I never had the heart for the rejection conversation! And I never will!
But if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say that I'm pissed because I know I'm stuck with you, bound to you, and I don't like it. That dreamy anticipation you have when you're fifteen or twenty that the right person for you, the most perfect person in the world might walk into your store or office or friend's party at any moment... That's all gone, I think, and that's enough to piss anybody off. You are who I am now, and it's no good pretending otherwise!"
Those were the last words she said…
The scene ends with the same sting… The same characters… The end is yet undefined…
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